It’s okay to fall apart.

Most of us spend such a large amount of time and energy trying to get okay and stay okay, even when – perhaps especially when – times are tough.

The pursuit of pleasure is just as much a hindrance as the avoidance of pain. Both lead to suffering according to the Buddhist Noble Truths.

So then, what do we do in times of struggle, uncertainty, discomfort, and dis-ease? 

Perhaps the answer is: nothing.

What if we don’t do anything, and instead get present in our bodies and with our feelings and emotions?

It would be radical to actually experience our experiences as they happen and process the feelings and emotions as they come. 

We could simply be sad when we’re sad, happy when happy, excited when excited and calm when calm.

Anger, grief, joy, and wonder could ebb and flow through us like waves.

We would end up with less regret, fewer stuffed feelings, and likely, fewer unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

I’ve been working this idea for a while now. Mostly things have been really good.

My practice has been feeling it, receiving it, being present to happiness and abundance of all kinds without denying it, craving more, future tripping, or putting up blocks around my receptivity or sensitivity.

At the time of writing this its a new practice. I am holding space and trying to be of service to a few loved ones they go through very difficult times.

Right now, the feeling isn’t pleasure or pain. Mostly, it feels like a sense of suspension, waiting, uncertainty.

Years ago I would have tried to find a way to fill the void in my feelings while pouring massive effort into “helping” my loved ones transform their uncomfortable feelings into more palatable ones. 

I practice being mindful of my tendency to do that now.

I’ve learned that often the best way to be of service is to allow others to be in the experience that they are in, when they are in it.

I try to create the same space for myself and when needed I turn to other amazing beings who I trust to hold compassionate space when I need help.

We aren’t in this alone. We all thrive best when we lift each other up.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you for sharing with anyone who needs a reminder.

Much love,

Katie