This holiday season I have a challenge for you. It’s a practice that’s simple in nature but for many of us it isn’t easy. It’s the practice of truly receiving.
For a long time, I struggled with receiving on just about every level, from food to gifts to money to compliments. If someone complimented my dress, I’d say “Oh? Thanks, I got it at the thrift store for $7.99!”
What’s so wrong with this reply?
First, it implies that I am surprised that someone would like my dress. Second it sounds as if I’m surprised to have been “seen” or perhaps didn’t want to be seen. Third, it implies that I am only worthy of having things that are worth $7.99. Fourth, it pretty much dismisses the compliment and the person giving it.
In other words, this type of response is telling the giver of the compliment that I do not fully accept their compliment and that I believe that I should not be seen in a complimentary way and, that if I happen to be seen or valued, it should be in only a low value type of way.
Replying to a compliment in a dismissive and self-deprecating way isn’t being humble, it’s being unkind to yourself and to the giver.
When we brush off compliments or receive energetic or physical gifts with “you shouldn’t have” or “this wasn’t necessary,” instead of simply saying “thank you” and graciously accepting what is offered, we create blocks in our own receptivity and we send an outward message that we no longer want to receive blessings.
We also shortchange the giver out of the beautiful experience of giving. After all, a gift can’t be truly given if it’s not received.
Overtime the compliments and blessings will come less and less…because we clearly aren’t open to receiving them.
Once you start focusing on strengthening your ability to receive I bet you’ll be shocked to see how often you have opportunities to practice! I know I was.
A nice place to start is with verbal gifts such as compliments and praise. Simply say “thank you” and take it in. Feel thankful. Receive the compliment or kind words.
Do not brush it off, diminish the compliment (and by default the giver of the compliment) or express a reason why you aren’t worthy of such kind words. You are.
From there expand your practice to receiving gifts and blessings of all kinds with a warm, open, and deserving heart.
One of my teachers, Manorama, mentioned this week the Sanskrit word upayukta which translates as worthy. She suggests meditating on the word and silently saying “I am worthy” three times followed by a few minutes of silently feeling it.
I’ve been working with the mantra all week and it’s been a beautiful practice.
Other mantras that may be helpful are:
- I am open and ready to receive.
- I accept the blessings coming to me.
- Blessings flow to me and from me.
A complimentary practice to this practice of truly receiving is the practice of being grateful for what you have – for all of it.
Daily, take a few moments to acknowledge all that you are grateful for. This can be done however you’d like to do it. Journal, make a mental list in meditation, share a few items with your family before dinner, or fall asleep counting your blessings.
Now, I would love to hear how these ideas land for you. Do you struggle with worthiness and/or receiving gifts or compliments?
Let me know in the comments below and tell me what practice you’ll be working with this week?
Comments
This is such a good and important post. I think sometimes, as women, we have a hard time believing that we are good enough or worthy and taking compliments can be so hard. I loved reading this!!
I am so glad that it resonated. Thank you for reading. I agree, I think that the worthiness aspect is tied in to this problem often.
This is so true! I think it is really hard for women to receive anything especially compliments! Thinking about how it diminishes the person giving the compliment really changes the way I think about that! Great post!
I am so glad that it resonated. Thank you for reading.
Great post and so needed!
This post was amazing! I have a tendency to cover my face and laugh when people give me complements. As a woman I should be like hello yeah I’m beautiful and deserve the world of compliments, but I don’t. So thanks for the tips!
You are so welcome. I am really glad that it resonated with you. Hell yeah you deserve the world of compliments!
I absolutely love this. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Love this! I am really bad at brushing off compliments and putting myself down, reading this motivates me to really work on loving myself more and welcoming , even liking any compliments that come my way
I am so glad that it resonates. I learned from experience for sure. Making the shift to self love and welcoming compliments is a process, but it makes a HUGE difference in how we experience the world. Have fun!