Money and Food ~ Financial Anorexia?

How do you feel about money?

I used to get anxious just thinking about earning or saving money, paying bills, and asking clients for payment.

One day I realized that the way I felt about and acted around money, was strikingly similar to the way I used to feel about and act around food.

I ran into the kitchen and proclaimed to my boyfriend that if there was such a thing as Financial Anorexia I had it.

The good news is that the same tools and shifts in perception that led me into a blissful relationship with food and my body are creating change and happiness in my relationship with money!

I am not a financial expert, though I am studying and putting into action as much as I can, but I have learned a great deal about the energetic and mental side of finances.

Here are my top questions to ponder, journal about and meditate on when it comes to healing your relationship with money (and food):

 

#1 Do you value you?

This question could be a yes or no, but if you look deeply it will most likely it will lead to more questions. For me it opened my mind and heart to the fact that I didn’t really value myself as much as a valued other people.

I could answer “yes” in a logical way but it wasn’t the YES! that I felt like it could be.

That was a major realization and wake up call for me. I dove into doing the work it took to get to a “YES!!!” and it started paying off in many ways.

#2 Do you believe that you can “have” or “take in” or “save?”

I was the beneficiary of a great deal of money when I declared my desire to go to Jivamukti Yoga teacher training. The entire community, my teachers and my parents stood up to offer support of all kinds – including donating what amounted to a large chunk of the tuition. I was honored. I also felt immediately indebted.

Feeling indebted is one of the biggest blocks to empowerment. 

In my experience feeling indebted often leads me to feel like I don’t have the right to tap into and act on my own beliefs and intuition.  I get stuck and start beating myself up for needing help, asking for help, and getting myself stuck in the icky feelings that come up with the feeling of indebtedness.

Those are not awesome feelings to be having when learning to take the seat of the teacher – it showed up in my teaching and deep down I knew why.

So how to flip the script? How to receive without feeling indebted – especially if the money is truly a gift? 

That requires a massive shift in perception. Which require a few more questions.

#3 How do you feel when you ask for money?

I have been blessed with parents who have helped me out financially on multiple occasions. Every single time I waited until I was at financial rock bottom – overdrawn, maxed out, and unsure of when a paycheck would come – before I asked for help.

Every time I felt needy, like a burden, like a failure, and like a generally awful daughter.

Every time they weren’t so upset about my needing money as they were about my waiting so long to ask.

What was getting in my way of asking? Pride, ego, expectations of how my life “should” be and frustration and anger that it wasn’t?

Yes, but also the beliefs that I don’t “need” money, that I can do with less, that I will just tough it out and make it work – even though it clearly was not working.

The bigger problem was that these same beliefs coupled with the beliefs around my desire and need to be of service – and my misunderstanding of what that really means (which is the topic of a later post) – led me to feel horrible when asking clients for payments as well.

Yikes! That is were the cycle begins again. So instead of getting swept away I asked myself:

#5 How do you feel when you give money?

When I look back on my relationship with money the times that I am the most proud of are the times that I have been able to pay for things myself.

I love giving gifts. I love paying for my education myself. I love paying for my son to take gymnastics. I love paying for my groceries and farmers market purchases with cash. I love giving a dollar to the homeless man on the corner. I love contributing to my friends crowd-funding campaigns. I love giving gifts to charities and fundraisers.

Eventually I realized that I feel empowered when I am able to do such things. I hope that everyone can feel that way at some point in their lives.

One way that I can help is by giving money when I can. Another way I can help is by allowing people to pay me for services and products they value. I am cheating them out of an amazing energetic exchange if I do not.

On this same note I made peace with accepting help from my parents or others who want to help support my work. I can now choose to gratefully accept and pay it forward.

So then…

#5 Why don’t you have the money that you desire? (Take responsibility without blame or shame.)

For me it came down to not believing that I could and not believing that I deserved it or was worthy of it. Some part of me felt like struggling was just part of who I was. I hated the feeling and reality of it – but at least it was familiar. It was a place and dynamic that I understood. I felt like I was struggling for a cause and being of service and making sacrifices.

Really I was selling myself short, making life more difficult that need be, and focusing on the wrong problems.

Wow, that was a super hard truth to get to but looking at it and sitting with it allowed me to start challenging the deep beliefs and choosing new ones.

I am still working on changing my relationship with money – both energetically and practically – but I see and feel the change already.

I hope you find these questions valuable. I would love to hear your experiences and try out any tips that you may have found and put to work for yourself.

As always, please share with anyone that you feel my benefit.

Comments

  1. How did I miss this post?? It resonates to my core, and I’m hopeful that I’ll make peace with money at some point. Thank you!

    1. Author

      You are so welcome. It is a process for sure. I will email you a few book recommendations that have really helped me on my continual path. Much love!

      1. Hi Katie,
        thanks a lot for this text, I am trying to heal from my financial anorexia and ressources are hard to find.
        Can you email me the books recommendations you have?
        Thanks a lot!

        1. Author

          Hi Sophie! Thank you for writing. I am so glad to hear that you are working on healing your relationship with money. Here are a few resources that I have found helpful (along with a few that I plan on looking into further this year as I continue my journey with money.)

          Book: Money A Love Story by Kate Northrup

          Book: The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson

          Dharma Talks: Against The Stream (search for keyword “money” in the Dharma Talks box. http://www.againstthestream.org/?category=&teacher=&keyword=money&s=search

          Podcasts: The Good Life Project (free on Itunes)

          Online Course: The Art of Money with Bari Tessler (she has a book coming out this Summer too.) http://baritessler.com/

          I hope you enjoy some the above. Please keep me posted on your progress! Much love.

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