The answer may surprise you.
How do you measure your value?
Get super honest with yourself for a minute. Do you base your value on the number on the scale, your work, your bank account, or what you choose to snack on at 3 pm or before bed?
Maybe it’s not an obvious moment of self judgement but a more subtle one, like your mood and outlook on life shift a bit when you try on your skinny jeans, see your friends hanging out without you on Instagram, or make a mistake at work. Maybe the cloud hangs over you for the rest of the day.
Perhaps it’s the other way around, you only feel good about yourself if you eat a certain way or keep yourself busy with assignments and projects. You may feel that you must earn happiness, contentment, or pleasure.
Either way, when we measure our worth based on external markers we set ourselves up to fail.
If our value is determined by things outside of ourselves, even things that don’t feel “outside ourselves” like our actions or our bodies, we place our sense of self and our experience in the world at the mercy of things that will inevitably change.
Your value does not depend on anything outside of you.
Your value does not depend on your size, how much you get done, how much money your make, what brand of clothes you wear, or how clean or messy your house is.
So, please stop focusing outward and turn in.
Fall in love with you. Connect with that piece of yourself that doesn’t change – that is constant, perfect, and whole – that always has been, is, and always will be.
How?
It’s a practice and process for sure, especially if you’ve lived a lifetime focusing on outward appearance, accomplishment or accolades.
Here are few of my favorite jumping off points:
1. Notice when you are determining your value externally. When you notice yourself doing so don’t beat yourself up about it, just notice and choose differently.
2. Connect with yourself in meditation. At first you may notice your mind whirling and focusing outward, but with practice you’ll tune in. Check out this freely offered 30 day meditation course for help with this.
3. Find mirrors in others. Notice when you are judging the value of others on external circumstances and choose to see, connect, and love more deeply.
Does this resonate with you?
I’d love to hear where you are determining your value and how you shift your focus inward. Please leave a comment on the blog. I’d love to get a great conversation going in the comments below. Perhaps it could start with you!
As always, thank you for reading and for sharing my blogs with your friends. Let’s keep spreading the love and and lifting each other up.
Much love,
Katie
Comments
This week’s message, combined with expanding on my meditation practice through Katie’s course, have truly resonated on a deep level. And, as with many circumstances, the timing seems perfect. I’m in the midst of a few major life transitions, including looking for a new job/career after completing graduate school. Today’s post reminded me that I am almost constantly judging and defining myself externally, with much uncertainty of late; holding perhaps too tightly to factors in my control (weight/food choices/appearance) to counterbalance fear of those outside of my control (getting that job interview). Thank you, Katie, for reminding me to center myself in my true self, which remains constant and is all love!
Thank you Becky for reading and for being a part of the course. I am so glad that you are finding benefit in it.
Exactly what I needed to hear today sweet friend! THANK you for always sharing your light!
Thank you love. I am so enjoying seeing your posts about your adventures around the world. I’m planning to get little man a big world map for his birthday. We will have to start playing “Where in the world is Miss Chelsea.” Sending so much love to you sweet friend.
This is such a powerful reminder. Thank you, Katie!
Thank you for reading Stephanie!
Thank you for thoughtfulness and inspiration. Working on being kinder and gentle within.
Thank you for reading Sherrie. It is a process for sure, keep the intention, keep up the practice. Much love!
This is beautiful and where I am focusing all my work on these days. I can’t wait to try the meditation course! Thank you for your work in love.
Thank you. I am so excited for you to be a part of the meditation course. This work is a practice for sure. I love that it’s your current focus. I hope we see each other soon!