Practice Happiness
As I mentioned in last weeks email and my most recent blog for The Huffington Post I am a big fan of Gretchen Ruebin’s book The Happiness Project.
The small shifts that she takes on to increase her happiness over the course of her year long experiment are so simple, yet they create a profound impact in her life.
Her approach is very journalistic and scientific which I find to be a really nice compliment to the science of yoga.
Intention is just wishful thinking without action.
If we want to be happy we have to continually check in and explore what we are doing to increase our happiness and what we are doing that is decreasing it.
It can be really easy to come up with a long list of things we should be doing to make ourselves happier. Often that list ends up feeling like yet another to-do list and we pile ourselves with guilt and shame about not doing it.
I find it helpful to go at the topic from the other side, and ask myself often:
“What things am I doing each day that are not adding to my happiness?”
and then…
“Can I stop doing them?”
It is shocking how often the answer is yes.
Often, I find that some of the things that I have been doing to take a break or enjoy some down time are not actually adding to my happiness.
For example, scrolling through the Facebook newsfeed doesn’t really increase my happiness.
I do enjoy getting notifications when people tag me in something or someone replies to something I’ve posted or commented on. I also enjoy visiting the pages of my friends and family members from time to time.
So now I practice checking Facebook without scrolling as often.
Of course sometimes the answer to the second question is “No.” Some things do not make us happy, but we must do them anyway.
Tasks such as renewing car insurance, managing my student loan repayment, and calling the phone company to discuss a new plan historically have not increased my happiness.
In fact, they wind me up and I get frustrated when I even begin to think about doing them. This does not create a great energy to be existing in when I actually go to make the calls.
This is where I lean into the teachings of the yoga sutra II:33 “Vitarka Badhane Pratipaksa Bhavavam.”
Which is translated as: When disturbed by bothersome thoughts, think the opposite.”
The way I do this best is by finding a way to re-frame my thoughts in a way that I can actually believe in the moment.
I did this yesterday when I had a day full of tasks that I tend to find bothersome. Instead of focusing on how much I dislike automated phone systems and spending hours choosing options before finally talking to a human being I chose to focus on the fact that I was taking care of necessary foundational tasks that will allow my family and I to enjoy the lifestyle that we are working hard to create.
It was a major light bulb moment. Instead of jumping down a rabbit hole of annoyance I felt lifted up and proud of myself for checking a few long postponed items off of my rotating to-do list.
So then, the 3 questions to ask yourself to increase your happiness:
- Does this action make me happy?
- Can I stop doing it?
- If I can’t stop doing it, how can I re-frame my thoughts about it in a way that I actually believe?
I would love to know how this practice creates shifts in your life. Please keep me posted by hitting “Reply” to this email or tagging me via social media. I’m onFacebook and Instagram.
As always, if this essay made an impact on you, please share with a friend or your social network.
Much love,
Katie